When it comes to grading, I believe parenting also has a few: successful; average - just made the grade; and fiasco parents.
I always grade myself as a fiasco case (until one day if I can see a reversal in the following):
- Other kids sit at the table for their meals; mine run all over the house to be fed.
- Other kids sleep on their own; mine have to be carried and rocked until they sleep.
- Other kids eat all kinds of food; mine refuse all new food.
- Other kids finish their meals within 30 minutes; mine have to be fed for 3 hours.
- Other kids are chubby at their right weight; mine are skinny and severely underweight.
I really envy those successful parents who are able to sit their kids at the dining table for their meals, who do not even dare to turn their heads to catch a glimpse of their favourite TV programme. And those parents whose kids are adverturous to try out any food without having to force feed. As well as parents whose kids are well-fed and growing simultaneously with their age and height. And those parents whose kids automatically climb into their bunk when they are tired and fall soundly asleep until the next morning.
I know all kids are different... but a large part is habitual and it all boils down to how I parent my kids. These bad habits are inculcated since young... and it seems like too late to reverse them now. Sad to say, I gave in to TV temptations when they refused to eat. I let them do anything they like so that they'd be distracted and open their mouth. You must be shaking your head in disapproval by now. That's okay... I only blame myself for being such a failure!
While people triumphed over what they have achieved for the year, I just hate to give myself this kind of "End of Year Bash"! Well, so you can see - my new year resolution for 2009 is obvious...
Recently, a kind mommy blogger shared with me her own stories on how I can reverse the situation with lots of persistence and consistent good parental discipline. I'm grateful to her for all the invaluable advise. Thanks a lot Food4tots :)
I hope it won't be long before I can update her on some positive progress. Wish me luck!
7 comments:
Parenting is probably THE most challenging and most rewarding task on earth... never easy... but needs lots of foresight...
before something (whatever thing) is being introduced to the kids, make sure you could see, the impact on the kids, 1 month from now, 1 year from now and so on... if you are willing to accept the impact on them after the implementation of whatever, then you did well.
I don't know when did you first discover my blog, but I did a very emotional post about my kids taking a long time to finish their meal ~ AND I AM PERFECTLY FINE WITH THAT! If you would like to read, the title was 'Clash of the Titans'.
Thank you for adding me in your blogroll. You are in my 'Check Them Out' list too...*smile*
No parents are perfect and there's no way we can train our children to be perfect too, unless we're saints :P. I guess parenthood is really a learning journey for all of us. Sometimes we need to be persistence in certain area to guide them the rite way.
Thanks Angeline, you have given me a different perspective into my problem. Many times, I simply go with the flow... I never think of the impact on them if I do this or that. I read your blog only recently and thought you are really a cool mom!
Thanks Mamamie! You are extremely right! We are all learning parents... there are so many things to pick up on the way...
Parenthood indeed challenging! Thanks for both your comments, I really need them to keep me going!
Hey Tin,
don be so hard on yourself. Sometimes the character of the kids do play a part. Mal is a fussy eater and I tend to plan my meal around what he likes to eat. Being self aware may just be the first step towards better parenting. Do take it easy.
Perfect Parents??!! Don't think they exist. There are many books out there to "help" and of course there are many-many "advise" from friends & family ... (sometimes) whether you like it or not.
I consider myself lucky in the sense, I grew up in Malaysia, now living in Canada (in between lived in the States for over 20+ yrs).
I was exposed to the Asian up bringing and also the Western thinking.
Now that I have a child, I hope to teach him the best of both worlds (my view, of course).
Living in the Western World, he cannot be timid like a lot of Asians (because our up bringing teaches us not to talk back ... at least during my time).
Instead, I try to "hightlight" the best of what we, Asians are known for.
Now with easy excess to internet/tv/movies they (children) are expose to a lot of things from all over the world ... whether we like it or not.
You will be surprise your child may come up with something you never knew ... which he had learnt somewhere else.
All we can do (at least I think) is to give them a good foundation so they can think on their own. Know what is right and what is not.
Though my son is only 4 yrs of age, I am now training him to choose.
Throughout the day, he is given options. If he wanted to watch TV, he has to finish his dinner 1st. If he wanted to play with his toys, he has to put the other toys away 1st before he can bring out another toy.
If he wanted to buy something, he has to "save" his $$$.
You'd be surprise how happy they would be when they are able to purchase the toy for themselves. Plus they tend to appreciate and takes care of the toy better.
So, don't be so hard on yourself. The most important thing is to be true to yourself. Remember they are learning from you (the best role model).
Hi 4MalMal and Tricia,
thanks a lot for your comments and encouragement!!!
I will do my best. I wish 2009 to be a better year for me and everyone...
Here's wishing all of you a happy, healthy and wonderful new year!
Nobody is perfect. We learn from our mistakes. Happy New Year 2009! May all your wishes come true!
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