I've seen how kids bawled their lungs out to demand things from their parents.
I've seen how they rolled all over on the floor in their protest fits.
I have never had a qualm when I witnessed these behaviours... I've never believed that my children would behave the same way.
BUT recently, I had a taste of how bad real misbehaviour was like.
How testing to one's limit it can be.
And for information, I am least proud to say that 'cane' is the only weapon I sought to discipline Kai now.
How sad it is to resort to using cane in this new age of parenting?
Unfortunately it is the only thing that can instill some fear and deter unwanted consequences from Kai at this stage.
Although he doesn't bawl or roll in his protest or demand, his unique style of mischief is equally hair-pulling and heart-thumping.
He never stop fidgeting when he was out (in shopping malls)
He touched this and pulled that, grabbed this and moved that.
That day, at POPULAR, he swept all the books within his reach onto the floor, without any warning. We were shocked.
He continued to do that after being reprimanded.
We were completely lost.
If I were to sum up the characteristics of Kai at this stage - he is extremely playful, mischievous and destructive.
The least I wanted to know is ADHD.
I hope it will NOT be in him.
...
...
BUT no matter what, I still love him LOTS...
5 comments:
Hi Tin,
I have also experienced extremely obstinate, major tantrums from Kyle as well and I have also used spanking to deal with the misbehaviour. No other methods have worked.
There is so much talk nowadays about new-age parenting and how we shouldnt use spanking for children. Prob for some children with more mild temperaments, reasoning or timeout will work. But when it comes to strong willed children, only spanking works. The only thing we have to take note of is not to spank in anger, but to do it firmly and calmly. And give reasons for your actions.
Don't feel condemned about doing this.It still pains us alot to have to discipline our kids, but it will be for their good at the end of the day
Hmm... sounds really troubling.
For me, its immediate removal from his 'playground'. in this case, I will go home straight away. That is taking privileges. Taking away privileges do work wonders. Pain on the skin will go away and the 'skin' thickens. *giggle*
By taking away his favourite things, it hurts his soul. To want it back, make him 'do good' or 'listen to instructions' for a period of hours/days. Make use of this to cultivate the habit of obeying.
Jiayou Mommy! Jiayou!
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Tin, you are a courageous mum to even share this.
In this new age parenting period, no one really dares to reveal much about physical punishment being used on one's own kids for fear of criticism. Especially when there is programs like 'Super Nanny' or such showing the world that kids can be 'disciplines' using words and not rods.
I remember sometime back I read about Diana Ser telling a parenting mag how she had spanked her tot son's hands when he refused to not touch something blah blah blah. Then the follwig issue there was a reader bearing a westerner name commented on this in a "making a mountain out of a molehill" manner. Like Diana Ser was such a 'bad mother'! Poor Diana, she can't even discipline her own son in ways she deemed fit just becos she's a celebrity!
I also spank Will (I usually spank his little hands) when he really misbehaves and words just won't do. The spank works almost 100%. I personally feel that spanking should NOT be used too frequently so that it'll retan its effectiveness. I also agree with Rachel's opinion about not spanking in anger HOWEVER, that's is quite difficult to control cos our kids do push our patience too far out at times like these!
I definitely understand 打在儿身，痛在娘心 feeling.The way you ended this post tells it all.
Don't feel bad about the incident, the thing Kai did at the bookshop, if Will were to do the same...I can emphatise :-)
Thanks for all your comments and encouragement, mummies! I will work hard. I hope this is just a passing phase and he will change for the better as he grows older.
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