Saturday, January 16, 2010

Our pseudonyms

He is "Lightning Mcqueen" and the rest of us ...
Daddy = Mater
Mummy = Mack
Jiejie = Sally

If you have watched Disney/Pixar animation Cars movie, you'd know
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Sunday, January 10, 2010

Spoiling a child

Being criticised for spoiling a child recently shook me up from a self-contented parenting state to critically reflect upon myself. If my full-time parenting at home has led to overly-pampered and spoilt children, I would rather return to the workforce and leave the child-rearing task to more capable caregivers. Call me quitter! Frankly, spoiling a child is the last thing I ever wanted to do. It is really demoralising to be blamed for that. Anyway, I could have done it unknowingly, out of love or simply out of a greater desire for peace. It is easier to give in to little wants than to struggle with cries and tantrums.

That is the most common pitfall in parenting.
And perhaps the only explanation to failed parenting.
It is time to reflect (hopefully not too late) ...

Failure to stop him from destruction and performing dangerous stunts could have hinted that he is spoilt, if not spelt "DANGER".

I have never wanted to spoil my child.
Yet, when he said he wanted to watch cars on YouTube, I let him
when he wanted to move all the cars to his room during bedtime, I failed to stop him
when he wanted to switch on the lights for a second just to check out the air con in the dark, I do it for him.

I don't see harm in doing any of these.
I find it easier to give in than to say NO.
I don't want him to make a big fuss and wake up the whole neighbourhood or just disturb the other caregiver next door, who would dash over to pacify anyhow.

Having said that, there were also times when I just ignored him when he cried unreasonably.
If his crying persisted, I'd bring him inside the bathroom and only let him out if he stopped crying.
When all explanations failed to work, the rod (actually just a balloon stick) will do the job.
These stricter disciplinary actions are done when there are no lenient adults at home to stop me. Well, I live under the pressure of higher authority.

A SAHM faces pressure from all walks, especially the expectation to perform better than working mothers.
Unfortunately she is also the only person to be blamed for any parenting hiccups.
It's too easy to point a finger at her and forget that it takes two to tango.

Whatever it is, before I call myself a quitter, I will have to take the criticism constructively and, from this point forward, be firm with the kids and constantly reflect upon all my words and actions.
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Friday, January 8, 2010

School blues

The real school blues and drama happened on the fifth day of school.
I kinda expected it cos' it was the same for Xuan when she first started school few years back. The real anxiety only kicked in a few days after attending school.

Before we set off for school this afternoon, his mood suddenly changed.
His eyes turned red and he was closed to tears several times.

He asked, "Can you go to school?"
(what he meant was "can you go into the classroom with me?")

I told him all daddies and mummies have to wait outside the class.
Still, he insisted, "Can you go to the school OR NOT???"
He even pre-empted me with, "I cry in the school, remember?" (he was referring to yesterday when he cried in the last part of school when he saw me) and his eyes turned red again.
That was real heart-pain.

I relented.
I said, "OK, I will go into the class with you."
But, when we reached school, he seemed fine.
I asked if I can wait outside the class, and he said "YES!"
So he went into class obediently.

But not more than a minute later, he was crying uncontrollably looking for me.
He sobbed and cried and screamed and struggled and kicked... for one whole hour until I thought that was enough.

All the while I was outside hearing his screams.
The teachers wouldn't let me into his class.
They couldn't pacify him.
They weren't prepared for his big struggle.
They couldn't hold him properly and he banged his head on the floor.
Yes, it was this bad.

"He was too attached to me," they said.
Yes, I certainly think so.
That is the con of a SAHM.

I hope things will get better next week.
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Tuesday, January 5, 2010

Foreign object in nose

I was mopping the floor while the duo were effectively glued to Tom & Jerry on TV - the best timing to do mopping after every few days of stickiness.

Then I heard a panic shout from Xuan, "Mommy, Jun Kai put something into his nose!!!"
I sensed from her scream that it must be a bad case!
So I dashed to him.

To my relieve, Kai looked perfectly alright.
No signs of pain or discomfort.
No choking.
No crying whatsoever.
Where? what? where? which? where? where? where???

Xuan told me that "object" - a small round plastic knob that Kai took out from his firetruck, has gone inside his nose! What she didn't disclose was, she was trying to help him take it out when she accidentally pushed it farther inside!
And then it was no where in sight!

Since Kai looked perfectly fine, I doubted that object has really gone into his nose. So I searched everywhere on the sofa and floor, hoping that it has dropped out instead.

But from Xuan's eyes and verdict, I can tell that the thing has really gone into his nostrils! With Kai looking fine, I psychoed myself that he has swallowed the object and it will come out in his poo two days later.

Upon Kai's request, we sat down in front of the PC, watching his favourite car videos on Youtube while I googled anxiously for "foreign object in nose" - a common phrase which I spotted everywhere on the Net but never bother to read about it. While googling, Kai sneezed and kept digging his nose, saying that there was a big "peh si" inside. So I pressed onto one side of his nose and asked him to blow hard (tips from the info I found at that time). Then I saw something that really looked like a BIG "peh si"! It was that grey round knob that has gone into his nose earlier! When it finally came out, Kai exclaimed, "Found it!"
I was elated.

You can't possibly imagine how happy I was.
That was the most relieve and happiest moment in my life.
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Monday, January 4, 2010

First day of school

Kai managed to keep himself free from that nasty diarrhoea to be allowed to go to school today! Luckily it was only for an hour for the first three days of school. So happily he went. He kept asking if the school bus is coming to fetch him (cos' he saw other children taking school bus to school). Well, he was lucky to be chauffeured! He didn't cry when I bid him goodbye and told him I'd wait outside his classroom. However, he was almost close to tears when he couldn't get a toy car from a boy.

Xuan was excited about school too. The first three days of food were catered for by her school. So there is no worry about her buying food from the canteen herself. The real nightmare will happen on her fourth day when no parent is allowed in school and no food catered...

I know that no matter how how well she did in our role play using dollars and cents to buy food, she'd still fumble when it comes to the real scenario.

See how it goes, heard that the older children will guide them along during recess.
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Sunday, January 3, 2010

Second day of the new year

It's not a good start
with Kai having a bad diarrhoea on the second day of the new year
Coming Monday (i.e. tomorrow) is not so exciting after all
with Kai missing his first day of school

Life is full of such impermanence.
And to console...
How could one fully savor the essence of happiness
if one had not felt a single pinch of sadness?
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Saturday, January 2, 2010

Spectacular night sky

Thrown back to reality
Everything happened so fast
exploding stars
flaming balls
shooting into the brilliant night sky
breaking the silence of the solemn dark
glowing embers tumble slowly in the air
flickering as they fall back to sea

for 8 minutes
they are so close
so beautiful

It was like a dream
I will continue to dream about it
until next year

back to the mundane.

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Friday, January 1, 2010

About this blog

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