Saturday, February 27, 2010

Co-sleeping and elbow

Kai co-sleeps with me. He still does. An arrangement since birth. Something we did so naturally without any prior consultation on any expert books. We shared the same bed, breath, and even ELBOW! Other than the rocker (basket), which he has weaned off successfully himself, he also needed my elbow to go to sleep. Every night, he lugged my arm like a bolster (except that it is a bony 'bolster'), while touching my elbow to soothe himself to sleep. The sleep positions were awkward, both for him and for me and it took an exceptionally long time for him to sleep with my arm. Worse still, he'd wake up several times in the night to look for my elbow! And again took the same stretch of time to sleep. "There was nothing wrong with co-sleeping," I thought at first. Now I think there is a BIG PROBLEM!

Now, I am facing this crisis of weaning Kai off my elbow.
Some weeks ago, I told him that there would be no more elbows for him, that he has grown and he should sleep on his own. He was agreeable.

So I started sitting on the floor next to the bed, while he slept by himself. I realised that it has to be without any body contact that he'd drift to sleep himself. It was experimented with the afternoon naps, when I usually left him in bed while I do my housework, or read my book in a corner of the room. He usually sleeps within an hour if he is tired. So I thought this would work at night too.

Well, I think it is working... below are records of my ordeal. Some progress, some retrogress, but overall... it is improving.

24 Feb 2010
It was 10.07pm. There I was sitting at the corner of the floor mattress, watching Kai tossed and flipped in bed. I wanted to start his bedtime earlier as I knew he took at least an hour to soothe himself to sleep. I had to ignore him. I tried meditating while waiting for him to fall asleep, but was constantly interrupted by his callings - tag in trousers, itch and pain. Different complains each time. I found myself wasting my time just watching him and responding to his complains. Then I counted the minutes. 11.07pm. Exactly one hour and he was still awake. 11.17pm. He slept finally. The past few nights were miserable. He slept several minutes past midnight and woke up several times to find my elbow. I need to reiterate that there will be no more elbow for him from now on.

25 Feb 2010
Went to bed a little later than the previous night. 10.20pm. Slept exactly 1 hour and 10 minutes later. Then woke up crying for elbow. That was 3 something a.m. I sat up on bed, positioned him for sleep, sometimes patting his back. He still cried, on and off. Couldn't sleep until 6am. Exhausted. Lesson learnt: I shouldn't be on the bed at all.

26 Feb 2010
Went to bed later again than the previous night. 10.30pm. Shucks! Should have stuck to the 10pm schedule! This time I told him I'd sit on the floor mattress and watch him sleep. He has no objections. I watched him performed his stunts for a whole 1 hour 30 minutes before he finally drifted to sleep. He didn't asked for my elbow. He woke up at 3 something a.m. again looking for me. I was sleeping on the floor mattress. I quickly sat up and asked him to sleep while I watched him. He didn't fuss. He obeyed and lay down to sleep. But he'd turned and flipped for about 15 minutes before he drifted to sleep, then woke up again 10 minutes later. Each time he woke up, I'd quickly sit up so that he knew I was there watching him. Tired. But it was an improvement. At least he didn't cry for elbow. At least he attempted to sleep on his own. This was what I wanted!

* * *
My struggles.
I wonder when it would come to an end.
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Saturday, February 6, 2010

Bad flu virus

For the past week, we have been in and out of the hospital. The duo were sick. Even at this point of writing, they have not fully recovered.

Kai fell ill after his first week of "new school" in another PCF. He became sick on 22 Jan with blocked nose and fever. After recuperating at home for 5 days, he returned to school, fully recovered on the 6th and 7th day, and fell ill again on Sunday 31 Jan with another bout of serious flu. He lost his voice with a bad sore throat and was extremely upset and lethargic. He was coughing badly and had bad nasal congestion. The worst part was his fever which shot up to 40.3 degree and persisted for an entire 6 days!!! We were worried sick. Altogether we had stepped in and out of Gleneagles three times in a week. Luckily his fever settled down today. As for Xuan, she was also down with fever and sore throat and had missed school for two days. Her fever has yet to subside. Today is the fourth day!

I am keeping my fingers crossed that we can enjoy a decent CNY this year.

Kai seldom fall sick before he starts nursery. I was initially pleased with his new school for its infection control of screening kids for fever before stepping into class and making sure all children sanitised their hands upon entering the classrooms, but was appalled when told that the teachers had used the same tissue paper used to wipe the runny nose of one child on another. The same contaminated tissue was used on Kai before he fell ill on both occasions.

Currently, we are contemplating on withdrawing Kai totally from the entire nursery education, which only spells trouble, and put him into a much sterile and safer environment at home.
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