Thursday, May 27, 2010

Life of a SAHM

On days when
I feel like being the greatest-o'-mummy and the loveliest-o'-wifey, I'd cook rice for dinner together with some edible dishes for the family.

On days when
I want to be a good teacher-mommy, I'd conscientiously cut/work out learning tools for Kai and teach him to read and write.

On days when
I feel like being a hardworking maid, I'd clean up the whole house - sweep, mop, wash, iron, wipe, pack and arrange - and plonk dead into bed at end of the day.

On days when
I realise that the toilets are too stinky to bear and floors too sticky to walk, I'd give them a good scrub and mop.

On days when
I wish I could live in an insect-free house, I'd spray baygon all over the place to drive away the endless ants and lizards; and flip the Classified to hunt for a cleaner house.

On days when
I want to be a lazy mommy, I'd cook a porridge that last from morning till night and let Xuan complain she's tired of eating.

On days when
I want to give myself a treat, I'd oversleep on purpose and declare that Kai miss school for the day.

On days when
I feel poor, I'd work hard on my homebased work and steer to achieve the target set.

On days when
I want to mistreat myself, I'd just starve or live on biscuits.

On days when I can't take all the yellings, screamings and fightings from the kids, I'd give them a good spanking.

On days when
I feel that the kids are getting too out of hand, I'd buried myself in some parenting books borrowed from the library, and then sleep on those child rearing philosophies read.

On days when
I think I'm going crazy and need a break from the routine, I'd pack up Kai while Xuan is in school to shop in a nearby mall. But I don't appreciate when the boy gets too helpful by putting all pairs of shoes on the floor for me to try and keep asking "这个美吗?".

On days when
I need some human talk or else I'd go crazy, I'd give my dearest mom a call.

On days when
I feel that the kids are not benefiting from my full-time home stay, my SAHM efforts are not appreciated, and when I really really feel like putting an end to my yellow-faced-grumpy-o'-wifey status, I'd pick up the Recruitment pages and start charting a new career path.

On days when
I'm lil' cranky but otherwise happy, I'd croak silly songs in the house, summon all my patience to talk lovingly to the kids.

This is how I survive being a SAHM.
My verdict:
Life of a SAHM-to-2-kids is too challenging...
It requires tons and tons of patience
I find myself raising my voice too often, lifting the rod too frequent...
I'm still struggling, managing, learning...

This August will mark my second S.A.H anniversary.
oh.... May I be blessed with the wisdom to act rightly, speak wisely and maintain a sane mind, for as long as I shall be a S.A.H.M.
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Tuesday, May 25, 2010

Crazy spells

Kai is having a lot of crazy spells of late.
He screamed and demanded me to tie my hair, "CANNOT LET DOWN!"
He cried whenever I go to toilet. He wouldn't let me pee!
He cried to buy lightning Mcqueen clothes before he napped.
He cried for bread when he knew bread is not on the table.
He cried to go to hotel out of the blue.
He cried for a windy weather.
He cried for all impossibles.
He cried at a time when you are already feeling hopeless.
It is really crazy!
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Sunday, May 23, 2010

Morning bliss

Kai and I had a stroll in the park while waiting for Xuan to be dismissed from her morning piano class.
Even for just 10 minutes
it's sufficient to refresh the soul
It was such a bliss
to be able to soak in the cool breeze

I had zero knowledge about nature, the flora and fauna.
But I always couldn't resist taking a picture or two of the trees and flowers.
I like their colours.
So vibrant and colourful.
I wish I had snapped with a proper camera...

Photos taken from Sengkang Riverside Park.
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Monday, May 17, 2010

Wedding conversation

We were at my brother's wedding dinner last night.
This was a little conversation between Xuan and me at the dinner.

Xuan: Next time when I get married will you come to my wedding?

Me: Of course! I will dress up prettily like po-po, and we will sit together at the same table.
(at this moment, her eyes lighted up)

Xuan: So next time... (start to narrate) I will find a right person to marry. First we will just be friends. Then we will choose a day. Then tell the restaurant. Then dress up in wedding gown and ask people to come.

"That's easy!" she added with a big smile.

She used to ask, "how to get married?", "how to choose the restaurant?", "how do you know which day to get married?", "how will the restaurant know I am getting married?", blah blah blah...

AND I always have to remind her, "You don't have to worry about all these now. You will know these when you become an adult. Most important thing now is to study hard..."

Oh... kids nowadays are teasing about boyfriend and girlfriend at a very young age. It's pretty scary. This boy in her class has been writing her notes and letters. And she has also given her replies in similar "love letter" format. She almost wanted to write "I miss you" but covered it up and erased them when she knew I was reading it! *faint*

In a way, I thought it was pretty cute... to exchange letters. I have told her that she can write letters to other friends as well. Cos' I remembered vividly how I treasured those letter-writing days when I was young! I even have a large collection of lovely letter pads and envelopes with beautiful scent.... those were the days!
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Tuesday, May 11, 2010


Xuan is growing fast beyond my liking and is asserting too much independence that it has become a pain. She refuses to listen and obey instructions. She is also stubborn and unreasonable at times. I am upset with her almost everyday and I couldn't help but wonder if our "八字" are compatible.

For instance, she had finished up her shower gel and I bought a new one for her but she complained of the fragrance while bathing. She said that she did not want to use it. I asked her, with tone of impatience, to use it for the time being until I get a new one for her. However, she fussed up and insisted to use the shampoo to wash her body instead. She simply refused to listen!

Perhaps if I have talked to her gently with a cooing and pleading tone, she might give in. Well, the kid really knows when to push the button to test my patience. She is doing things very much her own way now and is asserting her rights and acting against my will. I suddenly realised that I have lost the innocent and obedient girl whom I knew yesterday. I finally have to admit that kids are innocent, cute, adorable and likable only in their preschool years!

Xuan has grown. I need to adjust my expectations.
I must tell myself that she will one day F.L.Y.
Sigh... but it seems that the day has come too soon.
I'm not at all prepared.
I think I need to go for the crash course TEENAGE PARENTING 101.
So soon?!?

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Sunday, May 9, 2010

Happy Mother's Day

a mother's day gift from Xuan.
It was bought from her school bookshop.
all her friends bought for their mothers.
It was supposed to be pink
but a boy jumped queue and gotten the last pink one for his mum.
so it was left with a yellow one for me.
A sweet yellow carnation.
A gift ffom the heart
although there were some traces of ...
"peer pressure" in it.
Thanks Xuan!

first mother's day gift from Kai (and school)
not sure which part of the flower was his effort.
but I like the way he said "Happy Mother's Day" to me in a soft-spoken voice.
so unlike him. so darling. so cute.

A salutation to all mothers -
"... it is from conception that she takes care of her unborn.
All energies directed toward the child
even before its birth
To see the comforts of the child
the mother spend restless nights
at times for months on end
She undergo immense pain, which is borne silently
to nurse and bring up her child..."

adapted from Saffron Days in L.A.: Tales of a Buddhist Monk in America.

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